Read this quote and tell me you’re not compelled to evaluate your life…
“Your willingness to look foolish is a small price to pay to get everything you ever wanted”
WHOWZERS…..The crazy thing is it’s true.
In this post, I’m going to tell you how to overcome fear so you can get the things you want…
I strongly believe that the biggest thing that holds us back from getting everything we want is fear. Fear to look dumb. Fear to fail. Fear for retribution. Fear to even ask for what you want!!!
You know what’s weird? I bet 99% of the time your fears are completely irrational and self-fabricated. Most of us create justifications not to do things in order to protect ourselves from vulnerability…
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?
- You don’t talk to that beautiful girl or guy on the sidewalk..because you think you’ll look stupid.
- You don’t ask for that job you want…because you assume you won’t get it.
- You don’t reach out to someone you admire or look up to…because you think they probably won’t write back.
- You don’t start that project…because it will probably not work out anyways
What do all these scenarios have in common?
YOU DON’T GET WHAT YOU WANT.
The second commonality is that fear is what holds us back from action and ultimately knowing whether our inhibitions are actually true or some B.S. we tell ourselves to self-justify our failure to act.
So…how do we overcome fear to avoid this?
The most scalable way to conquer fear is to develop a tolerance for discomfort and rejection. The only way to acheive this is to intentionally displace yourself so that you encounter a ton of discomfort and rejection throughout all areas of your life…and come out alive.
Intentionally doing this exercise helps you realize that your fears are irrational and obliterates them. You’re left empowered to chase your desires with less hesitation (sometimes none at all!)
Ok Scott, so how the heck do I actually do this?
Here’s 10 practical things you can do TODAY to work you’re discomfort muscle that will eventually help you overcome fear.
Consistently talk to strangers on the elevator for a week
Ask for more food as a quick serve restaurant (clip of how to do this I recorded today – go to 1:00)
Cold email someone you don’t know that you aspire to be like
Build a habit of saying “no” to things you don’t truly want instead of non-confrontational compliance. Examples: unnecessary coffee meetings or calls
Ask for a discount at a store or restaurant (another clip just recorded today on a way to do this – go to 0:20)
Ask someone senior in your company for lunch and their advice (clip explaining this)
Approach and talk to strangers you find attractive in public places…DURING THE DAY. (for super secret clips email me)
Aggressively jam out a.k.a dance/headbob on the subway by yourself while you listen to your tunes. I love this!
Stand in the open of a large public place for 10 minutes by yourself without using or looking at your phone, wallet, notes etc. Simply be…
Do 20 jumping jacks in public place where everyone can see you for shits and giggles
By consistently “doing the work” to intentionally stretch your comfort zone, you will gradually improve your tolerance for discomfort and rejection. You’ll become more fearless enabling you to aggressiely pursue the things you want instead of hoping you fall into them by virtue of circumstance or convenience. NEWSFLASH fellas – Mrs. Right isn’t going to ring your doorbell anytime soon.
Think of these as fear-ercises and focus on the process, not the outcome.
When you frame action through the lens of an ultimate goal, you’ll detach yourself from immediate outcomes which fosters continuity. A.K.A. When I don’t care about the result and see everything as practice, I’m much more likely to do stuff that scares me.
If you’re into this stuff, as much as I am, I want to let you know about a sweet new meetup I’m starting with some buds called The New York Personal Development Meetup.
The goal of the meetup is to develop a community of like-minded individuals to help encourage accountability and personal growth. Our first event will be on maximizing Health, Wealth, and Relationships and takes place on Thursday May 16th at The Alley in New York City.
You should definitely come…unless you have rippling abs, money is an afterthought, and you have countless members of the opposite sex vying for your attention.
For more details check out the link here and please share with friends who you think might be interested. It’s going to be saweet!
P.S. If you find yourself thinking really hard about this and are serious about making a change in your life, you shouldn’t be embarrassed. Your friends who are too cool to work on themselves probably aren’t happy with their lives and never will be. Email me if you want to get serious (find email address here). I promise I won’t “probably not respond” ; )