Adventures in Club Soda Land [Part 1]

by Scott - 19 Comments

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As much as I love the crisp taste of a Hefewiezen, a few months ago I finally came to terms with the fact that continuing to indulge in alcohol was preventing me from becoming the person I want to be.

give up drinking

I’ve never had a drinking problem….but like a lot of people in their early to mid twenties, I’ve formed a habit of sometimes drinking more than I should, especially when going out.

For the longest time, it didn’t seem to be like a big deal to me. After all it’s what practically every person I hang out with does.

We’re going out? Let’s have a few drinks (to be more fun)!!!

But amidst the crazy next day stories and contrived “we’re having so much fun” moments, deep down I knew that this habit wasn’t a good thing. It wasn’t until my friends Charlie and Ben told me that drinking like this was actually propelling me backwards that it hit me…“holy crap, they’re right.”

I decided it was time to face reality and be brutally honest with myself.

I wasn’t drinking because it was great for my health, finances, spiritual life, productivity or general wellness.

Most of the time I was drinking was to blunt my immediate and passive anxieties. I guess the fact that I love the taste of beer doesn’t hurt either.

On top of stifling my health, finances, and faith, I was stunting my personal growth by avoiding direct confrontation with things that made me uncomfortable. I know that if I continue to do this I’ll never arrive at the place I want to be: an inner-state of complete comfort with myself that’s unshakable by external forces.

So for the past two months, I’ve been trying to give up drinking with a varying degree of success. I thought I’d share what this journey has taught me about goal-achievement, habit, and how the heck a 25 year old single guy in New York can pull this off.

Tracking

The first thing I did was start a google doc where I tracked whether I had a drink and if so, how many drinks. I also tracked my weight, bodyfat, and % muscle because I was curious about the correlation. I’d be lying if said I’ve never thought “I’d be so much more jacked if I didn’t drink!”

give up drinking

Observations

Month 1 – Holy crap. I drink way more than I thought I did. As I started racking up Y’s (yes, I drank), the mere fact that I had to acknowledge this inspired a stronger “don’t do it!”

Month 2 – My goal for month 2 was to drink at least 1 day less than last month. It looks like I’m going to end up drinking 3 less days (with two trips this month!). Overall consumption volume (# of drinks) went down as well.

You may be thinking, “Boy Scott, drink 1 less day? Really shooting for the stars…”

Here’s the thing. I originally tried to go cold turkey on this habit and failed miserably. Apparently breaking a habit you’ve been accustomed to since your junior year in high school is pretty damn hard.

I’m now comfortable with the fact that cutting this out of my life is going to be a slow climb. I’m cool with that. So long as I make progress each month I will eventually get to where I want to be.

Another benefit of the “slow climb” approach is that consistently achieving a positive trend is more conducive to sustainable behavior change than. a fleeting purge (i.e. absolutely no drinking for a month). This is about my life, not checking off a yearly bucket list item.

What this helped me remember:

People always say “you can only manage what you measure” because it’s true. If you’re serious about changing a habit start tracking it. Landing pages aren’t the only place metrics can help you iterate.

Affirmations

Post Cinco de Mayo I went on a 6 day hot streak where I only drank 1 time (2 drinks) despite being in a drinking environment every night. After the failure instanceI abstained one day and then slipped back into old habits that weekend.

I’ll get to the failure point later, but I want to talk about the driving force behind the 6 day streak which I stupidly abandoned for a few days by straying from my morning routine.

In the aftermath of Cinco De Mayo I was frustrated. I decided that I was going to remind myself everyday why I was giving up drinking. So I started writing this affirmation out each day into a notebook. This practice became part of my morning routine.

give up drinking

I couldn’t believe the effects this had on my behavior. My desire to drink was far diminished. I think this is due to the greater salience around why I was fighting the temptation.

“I am not the man I want to be when I drink” would just hover in my brain when I’d be with a friend at a bar…

“I’ll do a club soda…with lime!”

The Failure Point (Dating!)

I think it’d be a whole lot easier to give this vice up if I didn’t live in New York. Whether we’re talking about dating or professional networking, everything is centered around “grabbing drinks.”

Initially this frustrated me…now I’m stoked because I realize that if I can beat this on hard-mode, I’ll be even stronger.

As long as I’ve been in New York, my go-to first date has been drinks. It’s a low commitment way to get to know someone and that provides optionality – If it turns out I’m hitting it off with someone, enter a multi-venue adventure; if our conversation feels like work, you can politely part ways.

When I originally embarked on this stop-drinking journey, I left the first date stronghold in the “exception cabinet.” Just like pigging out when I go to my parents’ house, I gave myself permission to drink on first dates.

Thankfully my friend Steph helped me realize this crutch was total B.S.

Allowing this exception was weakening my discomfort muscle…conveniently, this realization occurred to me after I had just set a first date for drinks. Sick.

I could fall back again on the exception crutch…but I knew that that would just perpetuate the cycle of “just this one time.”

So I shot her a text admitting my slip up and offering a warning / alternative.

give up drinking

When I sent this text I thought she was going to think I was a total weirdo.

“I barely know this guy and he’s telling me he’s ordering a “club soda” before we event hang out. What the hell?”

Instead, she eventually commended me and agreed to meet me for a walk on the highline. Win!!

The next night we met. She looked amazing and we were having a great time on our walk…

Then about 15 minutes in it hit me. It was Thursday night and the highline was less than 2 miles long…either this was going to be the shortest date since MTV’s Next or I needed to come up with a next move.

Fight the urge, fight the urge…..sigh. Whatever.

Instead of just owning my no-drinking agenda, I reverted to an old habit…drinks?! And drink we did.

Despite breaking my streak, we ended up having an awesome time and we’ve been hanging out since despite my club soda proclivities.

I wanted to share this experience because it taught me a few valuable lessons about habits / goals.

  • I would have had an easier time resisting temptation if I had taken the time to play out the scenario in my head before and planned accordingly. I’m talking about literally visualizing what I was going to do. This yields a far higher likelihood of successfully performing the desired action than leaving any decision up to my willpower in the moment.
  • If you really want to create habits, you need to either eliminate exception scenarios or be completely firm and comfortable with a small number of them. The reality is that a “just this once” rationale is lurking around every corner. When you let this dictate your behavior, it’s much harder to actualize sustainable change.

Routine Adjustment

If you’ve read Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg this is nothing new…but I thought I’d share my personal case study in case anyone else is trying to lay off the suds.

Before this journey, every time I went to a bar (or restaurant) with family or friends, the first thing I’d do was “get a drink.” God forbid we enter a bar with people we don’t know and actually engage someone without first getting an alcoholic companion!

Cue = Enter / sit down at an establishment

Routine = Get a alcoholic drink

Instead of ordering something alcoholic right off the bat, I’ve been starting with a club soda. Sometimes even Diet Coke if I’m feeling rogue.

New Routine = Order a club soda

The amazing thing is that after the initial soda, my urge to have a “drink-drink” becomes far subdued compared to when I first get there…

I hypothesize that this is because of the realization that despite the fact that I just broke a habit…everything is okay. This causes my craving to subsist and I can go about my business.

Month 3 outlook:

My goal for this month is to drink less than I did last month.

I’m going to Princeton Reunions and then China to see one of my best friends with my roommate so I’m going to be drinking. That’s okay. If I keep doing this I’ll eventually get where I want to be.

Other coolness: last night I did an interview with Jason Shen from the Art of Ass Kicking. He taught me two new things about mastering willpower and how to change your behavior that make total sense. Make sure you subscribe to my weekly updates so that you don’t miss out on these awesome tips

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19 comments, add to the conversation.

  1. HKW

    Scott –
    Thank you for sharing! I commend you not only on the decision (which few have considered so honestly, deeply and seriously), but also on creating a clear path for your to evaluate and change your behavior. That is, by far, the harder of the two, as you admitted in your notes on past failures.
    From my own experiences (smoking and jogging), I know that a plan that pushes you to implement a small step along the way is often the easiest way to retrain your body and/or mind.
    As you realized with Cue and Reaction, there will be many challenging points. It may be helpful to consider having a few “get out of jail free cards.” These allow your to partake in additional drinking, but limited to x number of “cards” per time – 1x/week, 6x/month, whatever breakdown you want. You can also reduce these over time.
    Keep on truckin’
    H

    Reply

    1. ScottBritton

      Thanks for reading – planning is everything. Without a plan, you’re flying blind.

      I love the concept of “get out of jail free cards”!

      Reply

  2. Georges Janin

    This is a timely post. I am planning on going alcohol free during the whole month of June – a cold turkey move. I don’t have a drinking problem per se, but startups + recruiting + NYC = many drunken nights.
    I’ll let you know if I succumb to a failure point (I can see many on the horizon) 🙂

    Reply

  3. Devin

    Kudos, SB, I did a dry month trial and found the urge to drink go waaay down as well. Another fun way to put up a road block (I actually use this for fast food, including pizza, etc.) is to set a monthly budget and lower it over time. i.e. I have $100 this month for booze (home and bar combined) – keep track on your phone and go to $95 next month, or however you want to progress. Let’s you prioritize your opportunities and not completely limit yourself, overtime you can start allocating that on other purchases as well!

    Keep it up!

    D

    Reply

  4. blake41

    I’d be curious to hear you dig further into why you’re giving up drinking. You said you’re not the man you want to be. Who are you when you drink? And who are you when you don’t drink? What is it about the guy you are when you’re not drinking that you prefer?

    Reply

    1. ScottBritton

      I’m giving it up because there’s little upside to it (health, personal growth, finances).

      I never want to feel socially anxious about doing anything. Most people, including myself, overcome these anxieties by drinking to take the edge off and lower their inhibitions. This is a short-term fix that prevents you from ever truthfully overcoming these feelings.

      The statement “I’m not the man…” might come off bad (i.e. angry, confrontational . I’m a pretty happy drinker, but I do make worse decisions and do things I would not have done if I was totally sober sometimes like dominate two bros pizza and negate an entire day of disciplined eating.

      Truthfully though its the desire to be completely comfortable doing anything that’s the overarching motivation here.

      Reply

      1. blake41

        “Truthfully though its the desire to be completely comfortable doing anything that’s the overarching motivation here.”

        That makes a lot of sense to me. It’s something I’ve thought a lot about. It’s always struck me that I just have more fun when I am drinking, and it’s not clear to me that could be replicated without drinking regardless of whether or not I’m comfortable. It’s certainly possible I’ve been using alcohol as a crutch to have fun for so long I’ve never developed the muscle of having fun without alcohol and so I can’t imagine it.

        Reply

  5. arsachs

    “you can only manage what you measure”

    Congrats on the progress man. I’ve been trying to drop a few pounds by carefully tracking and measuring what I eat so this was a timely post for me. I’ve found that as long as you can avoid going too extreme and allowing the measuring to get to the point of obsession then it’s a really useful tool for personal accountability. I actually think now before I shove a handful of chips into my mouth. Am I really hungry? Just bored? etc?

    Reply

  6. Dustin

    More power to you Scott! I just completed a 2 week no-drinking trial run as I prepare for a trip to the wonderfully guido-centric Jersey shore for July 4th. While I did not track my stats as diligently as you, I felt immediate effects on my health, energy, and clarity at work. I also lost about 5 pounds without changing my diet or lifting routine. My new goal is not to abstain entirely, but to cut drinking down to 1-2 nights a week.

    Reply

    1. Scott Britton

      Nice man! I hear you, I broke down on father’s day yesterday because there was this type of guiness sitting in the cooler I’ve never tried…man it was good.

      I think I’ll likely land softly on a more similar goal to you, but one thing is for sure. I definitely want to cut out drinking to excess completely, especially when the true desire is rooted to inebriate emotions vs. taste enjoyment

      Reply

  7. Zachary Stockill

    Terrific post, Scott. Always good to ask those tough questions: what value does drinking bring to my life? I’m not sure if the tradeoff is always worth it. (I spent yesterday with a hellish hangover, so this was a timely read for me.) Thanks.

    Reply

    1. Post Author Scott

      Thanks man!

      My new philosophy and how I describe it, is I drink purely for taste enjoyment in contained situations. I don’t ever drink to improve or alter my social abilities, but I enjoy a beer(s) with a close friend on a chill evening because it tastes damn good

      Reply

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